


We’re on the Ground Now

by bellamysdemons



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bellamy Blake & Lexa Friendship, Bellamy Blake has PTSD, Bellamy doesn’t join pike, Bisexual Bellamy Blake, Cause I Said So, F/F, F/M, FTM Bellamy, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Lincoln Lives (The 100), M/M, Multi, Nerd Bellamy Blake, Other, Pike is an asshole like always, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, trans!bellamy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:42:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27688444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamysdemons/pseuds/bellamysdemons
Summary: This is basically me projecting onto Bellamy Blake and erasing season 3 from existence cause I hated it. Slowburn murphamy and biconic Bellarke (written as one sided but you can interpret as you please).
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake & Marcus Kane, Bellamy Blake & Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 10
Kudos: 11





	We’re on the Ground Now

“Your sister, your responsibility.” Aurora Blake whispered before she drifted off from the pain leaving Isabella to deal with the crying newborn. She wasn’t ready for this change, the secrecy, her childhood stripped away. She just wanted to be _normal_.

*ten years later*

Freshman year was terrible, to say the least. She got caught staring at a girl while trying to think of ways to admit her feelings which resulted in endless teasing and bullying that effectively forced her to become an outcast. Fictional characters were always much more comforting than real people anyways.

Months had passed and Bella headed to her family’s compartment just like any day. She sat her schoolwork down on her bed, and prepared to teach Octavia her daily lessons.

“So, you have to carry the one to the top and then add those together?” Octavia asked.

“Yes! You’re already getting it, now let’s move on-” she was interrupted by her mother walking in from work. As everything was set aside for dinner, Bella prepared herself for what she was going to say. It would explain it all, the layers of hoodies, the absolute hatred of her name, the time that she cried so hard when she first started developing breasts, and the soul crushing feeling that made her body feel like it was being suffocated by her skin every time someone called her a girl.

“Mom?” She tentatively asked as Aurora started eating. A nod of her mother’s head let her know she had her attention. “Okay, so, I need to tell you something really important, and please don’t get mad at me.” Aurora started to pause her eating when realizing the serious tone her eldest child possessed. “Imnotagirl..” She mumbled.”

“What?”

Bella blinked tears from her eyes, and tried again. “I’m not...not a girl.” She tightened her eyes shut and braced for the worst. But soon she felt a warm hand on he- _his_ cheek.

“Bell, please open your eyes for me, and give me a hug.” His mother said with a smile. He tried not to cry, but his walls finally came down and he hugged his mom tight, and told her everything he felt.

*four years later*

“Since your family is on the lower ranking of importance, we can only give him our lowest doses of testosterone made for hormonal therapy.” The doctor coldly said, and Aurora was about to argue when Bellamy cut in.

“Thank you, I’ll be very grateful for that.” The doctor nodded and walked out. “Mom! I’m lucky to get any, so I’m sure as hell not going to argue.”

“But-“

“No. I’m eighteen, this is my choice, and I’m not risking,” he lowered his voice, “Octavia for this.”

A new nurse came in to administer the shot, and she had a much more comforting smile while she got it ready. “Now, this might hurt a bit, but stay as relaxed as possible.” Bellamy nodded and lifted his shorts up so she could access his thigh.

Bellamy was too focused on the fact that he was actually finally getting his T shot to notice the needle, and once it was over the nurse said, “And there we go! That was your first dose of testosterone!”

Bellamy couldn’t help but let out a little laugh of relief and Aurora smiled with him, happy to see him happy.

*on the ground*

He had to be careful. No one new about him and his past, and if they did...who knows what they would do to him without any repercussions.

*near the end of season one*

“Where are you going?” Octavia asked.

“To get some food, we’re running low and I was hoping I’d be able to find something with meat to offer.” Bellamy said with his normal attitude.

“Fine, but be careful, I don’t want to have to be the one to deal with Clarke freaking out if you get lost. Who else will deal with the jackasses for us?”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the concern, O.”

“No problem, big brother!” She shouted as she walked back to camp.

Even though it was a normal sibling dispute, he couldn’t help but smile knowing she made sure to emphasize “brother.”

“Well, fuck.” Bellamy gasped as he looked down and saw the blood pooling at his chest. He looked up and saw the sun was setting. Clarke was going to kill him—if he didn’t die first—and Octavia was going to hold it over his head. _At least I got us food_ , he thought as he started to drag the creature and use all of his strength to get back to camp. Who knew some little claws would do such damage?

“Clarke, we don’t have the people to make a search party.” Finn tried to make her see reason. “I’m sure he’s fine. He’s stubborn, and I’m sure he’d rather be lost in the woods for a few days than come back empty handed.”

“But what if he’s not fine?! And it’s my fault. All I said was that I was getting tired of plants! It was a joke! I didn’t know he would actually go out and hunt for something.” Clarke put her head in her hands.

Now this piqued Octavia’s interest. Bellamy made it sound like he was just doing this cause he felt like it...but because Clarke threw it out in conversation? _Damn big brother_ , she realized, _you fell hard._

Shouting outside the drop ship suddenly erupted. “What the fuck happened?” Someone yelled out.

Clarke, Octavia, and Finn quickly made their way outside and the next thing they all knew was Bellamy walking towards the drop ship, and then face met floor.

“Bellamy! Oh my god... are you okay!?” Clarke exclaimed as she knelt beside him to feel his pulse.

“Fine..” He mumbled into the dirt.

“Finn! Help me carry him in, he’s wounded badly. We need to get him some...”

Bellamy woke up to a metal cup being pressed to his lips.

“It’s water, drink some.” A voice said. _Clarke, it’s Clarke._

He sat up and winced at the pain it brought.

“How are you feeling?” She asked gently.

“ _Fantastic_ , I love being clawed to death.” His sarcastic remark brought a laugh out of Clarke which made him feel a sense of pride that it was because of him.

“I’m glad to know it didn’t change your _wonderful_ personality.” She teased playfully back.

“Oh my god, you think my personality is wonderful? Clarke Griffin? I’m remembering this forever.”

Clarke, who immediately regretted her word choice, tried to take it back. “No, Bellamy-”

“Nope, sorry princess, implanted in my mind forever. Ego is boosted.”

“You’re an ass.”

He smiled innocently. “Now do tell me, what do you mean?”

“Anyways,” She glared at him. “It wasn’t a terrible wound; it just mostly only scratched the surface of your skin. But...” A face of apprehension crossed her features.

Bellamy became a little confused, and concerned. “Princess?”

She avoided his eye contact and started gently, “...the wound was on your chest, and I needed to take off your shirt to access it. So, I might have made a discovery about you...”

Bellamy felt the blood drain from his face as the horror suddenly sat in his brain. “Clarke, I...I can explain-”

“No! It’s okay, I promise, I just thought I’d let you know is all.” Out of instinct she reached for his hand to comfort him. The contact helped, and he smiled back. He felt a little better after that, and it promoted him to ask a much needed favor.

“Clarke, do you know how to give shots?”

“Um, well yeah, my mom taught me. Why?”

“Well, I was able to sneak some T on here as part of the deal I had, but then when we got down here I realized that neither me nor Octavia know how to give shots. The lack of it has started to take its toll on me. I know we don’t have the best of relationships, but I was wondering if you could...” he trailed off in fear.

Clarke gave him a gentle smile, “Well, a good doctor never lets that stop them from doing there job. Where did you hide it?”

Bellamy smiled with her since he found another person to trust with his secret and pointed towards up the ladder.

“Who else knows?” She asked while preparing the needle.

“Octavia, that’s it.”

“Maybe if they come back down, and there’s a lot of resources here, you’ll be able to up your doses. You could even have surgery-”

“Clarke, I gave up hope years ago. Just, don’t worry about it.” He picked at a thread on his jeans with a sad look on his face.

“If you say so.” Clarke wanted to press on, but kept it to herself in fear of making him uncomfortable, and just gave the injection. But, this is progress, she told herself. They were co-leaders (maybe even...friends); trust is everything. The more he trusted her with this, the more he would let down his guard, and be less of the Bellamy he was when they first landed, and be more of the Bellamy that she saw when Charlotte was scared, and that she saw in the woods that day. A boy who grew up too fast who just wanted his mother back.

The silence continued to grow, and it was obvious he was uncomfortable. But, Clarke had something to get off her chest because she knew he needed to hear it.

“Bellamy?...” She hesitated. “I meant what I said in the woods. I need you. Please don’t go off on your own again. I was worried sick.”

“Clarke, I-” _Wait, Clarke was worried?_

“No, I mean it Bellamy. I can’t lose you. You’re...” She chose her words wisely, “my friend.” She got up to go take care of the others in the drop ship still recovering from the mysterious illness, and left Bellamy with his thoughts still processing the conversation.

”...We’re friends.” He said to himself, a smile tugging at his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re from my Instagram and you comment feel free to leave your user if you want to let me know it’s you


End file.
